post tonga room re-greet

it had been years since i'd seen this person. we dated almost 20 years ago. he was in a relationship when we dated (though he told me it was "open", it wasn't...and i was dumb and young enough to believe).

just to give a little background.
now, divorced to said woman (not) mentioned above and sharing custody of their 12 year old daughter...who sounds just like him from how he describes her behavior to me

he found me on facebook six months ago. first he sent an apology email, and after a few days i decided, okay, what's the harm in being this person's friend? so i did. what transpired in the following six months or so....flirty communications, suggestive texts and emails (mostly from his side - as i'd seen his pic and noticed how fat and unattractive he had become...old man in america)

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he was in my town (still is, acutally) this weekend.
i went to meet him (me with friend in tow) for a drink on friday night. i was right, he was fat. he was unattractive. and like the phone conversations we'd had, hee was self centered and boring. i haven't been with a man in a long time, so i continued to drink him pretty.
we kissed goodnight and for me there was no magic. no sparks, nothing. just the ringing endorsement that came in a sleazy text later telling me that i'm a good kisser and calling himself "daddy" ick!

we met on saturday and for me, it was a special little disastoer.
i didn't want to spend time with him and it was obvious. i put my complainer cap on and eventually it got the better of him. we left each other unceremoniously, except for a few sharp words flying through the humid day at each other.

i got home and wrote the following email. i will probably never send it, unless duly provoked!


i think that maybe the changes you have taken yourself and the ones that i have taken myself through are really different. you don't seem like you've changed all that much, 'cept now you have a daughter, wear glasses, and have a big belly.

enjoy your time. honestly, i'm happier sitting alone in my apt. (if i wind up doing that) than hanging out with you. i kind of figured this might be true by our phone conversations. you bored me then, and you bored me more today because i had to look at your mug.my responses to you today, seemed congruous with the energy between us. i found you superfluously talking about you, you, your experiences, you and then...oh, how awful i am...

your knee hurts because you are overweight and out of shape.
deal with it or it will get worse and make you even less attractive.

i'm just telling you how I'M feeling.
jerky, isn't it?